Okay, yeah it's big. But I don't hear Bird complaining when she has "flea market" blisters and wonders if I happen to have a Band-Aid. Or has a little foie gras in her teeth and desperately needs floss. Or how about a stray hair on the chinny chin... Tweezers? Mais oui! But the poor shop-keepers! They are horrified as they watch me meander through tiny aisles of crystal and china, and I believe I hear sighs of relief when I leave. But here's the thing: Gerard Butler bought me this huge purple leather bag. When we were kids, Bird's mother used to wrap up a lovely gift for herself and put it under the Christmas tree, "from Frank Sinatra." Bird continued this tradition with her annual gift from "Pierce Brosnan." Last year I believe it was a lovely cashmere throw, but don't tell her husband. I saw this lovely bag and just knew that Gerard wanted me to have it. He loves me this much, you see. So, walk softly and carry a big bag. Your friends will thank you.
A bientot, mes amis
The Bag Lady