Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Purse That Gerard Bought

Okay, yeah it's big.  But I don't hear Bird complaining when she has "flea market" blisters and wonders if I happen to have a Band-Aid.  Or has a little foie gras in her teeth and desperately needs floss.  Or how about a stray hair on the chinny chin...  Tweezers?  Mais oui!  But the poor shop-keepers!   They are horrified as they watch me meander through  tiny aisles of crystal and china, and I believe I hear sighs of relief when I leave.  But here's the thing:  Gerard Butler bought me this huge purple leather bag.  When we were kids, Bird's mother used to wrap up a lovely gift for herself and put it under the Christmas tree, "from Frank Sinatra."  Bird continued this tradition with her annual gift from "Pierce Brosnan."  Last year I believe it was a lovely cashmere throw, but don't tell her husband.  I saw this lovely bag and just knew that Gerard wanted me to have it.  He loves me this much, you see.   So, walk softly and carry a big bag.  Your friends will thank you.
A bientot, mes amis
The Bag Lady

It's All Happening In The Metro!

One day, as we sat waiting for our train, our attention was drawn to a gentleman on the other side of the tracks yelling at us in a long strring of french and huge arm waving.  Luckily Duchess could understand bits of it but before she could translate for me I noticed a group of raggity preteens heading towards us.
 There weren't many people near us on our side and it was dawning on me we were quickly being approached by a band of gypsies!  Duchess and I quickly moved our handbags to the front of us and stared these urchins down!  They were not going to pick our pockets if we had anything to say about it!  And, pleassse! have you seen the size of Duchess's handbag??!  She could knock over a herd raging bulls if she had to!
But we don't want to discourage you from using this wonderful system.  Every stop is a wonder in different designs.  The Louvre stop has Egyptian wonders, the tile work in others is marvelous and some of the best musicians play in their echoing hallways. Its always a theater but do watch your backs for maundering gypsies!